edit: my new profile picture is a flower.  i love flowers.

It feels like I don’t know how to write on tumblr anymore.  I’ve been journaling much more lately, and it feels like all my words escape into the pages of my notebook.  Here goes nothing.

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Last week, I suffered from my first bout of homesickness, ever.  Actually, I think it’s family-sickness, if that makes sense.  I was on the phone with my mom and I broke down and cried and cried and cried.

It was so bad that after I hung up the phone, I took a walk outside to settle down and I realized I walked out in my underwear.  Haha.

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Today I got asked again if I had a girlfriend.  They seem very surprised when I say no, because they think all American teens get into relationships early.  

Then the doctor asked me, “Why?”  And that question threw me off.  No one asks why you don’t have a girlfriend.  

So I answered straight from the gut, “Because it will distract me from the things I want to do and my studies.”  

She then asked me when I think I’ll start dating.  And I answered honestly again:  ”Probably once I finish school and start working.”  

She smiled at me and said I was an interesting person.  There aren’t many guys like me, she says. 

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This summer has been surprisingly good so far.  I say ‘surprisingly’ because I’m doing things I’ve never done before, and I stopped doing things I used to do regularly.  But it’s also been rough as well.

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It’s a weird situation when native Chinese people, like the ones I am with at the hospital, learn that I am a Christian.  I guess they’ve never seen a believer before, so it’s an interesting  conversation.  

I’m frustrated sometimes because I can’t completely convey what Christ is really about, what the Gospel is, and how God is working in my life in fluent, conversational Chinese.  

Yesterday, a student at the hospital asked me if I could listen to a CD of worship music I had with me.  I lent it to him; I wonder what he thinks of it. 

Today a student asked if she could look at my notebook, which I carry around a lot to take notes.  She opened it up to the front, saw that I had titled the page, “Dear God,” and gave it right back to me with an embarrassed look.  

I don’t really have anything to hide, and she was welcome to read it.  That’s why I let her have my notebook in the first place.